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In 1930s Chicago, Frankenstein asks Dr. Euphronius to help him create a companion. They create a murdered woman as the Bride, sparking love, police interest, and radical social change. In January 2024, while hosting the Governors’ Awards (the honorary/lifetime achievement awards given by the same Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences that presents the Oscars), comedian John Mulaney jokingly told a story about being asked to tape an audition for a small role in this film: “Ladies and gentlemen, you look at me and think, ‘Oh, great. Another damn comedian here to make fun of us during our sacred rituals.’” Well, I’ll have you know that I’m not such an outsider. I’m highly sought after in the movie business. I’d like to share with you an actual email I received from my agents about thirty days ago. This is an actual email they sent me on December 7 [2023], so you can get an idea of who you’re dealing with. “John, in anticipation of our conversation, attached is the untitled Maggie Gyllenhaal project written and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal.” Makes sense. “Emma Tillinger Koskoff, Osnat Handelsman [-Keren] and Talia Kleinhendler are set to produce for Warner Brothers. Christian Bale is in talks to star opposite Jessie Buckley.” I know who one of those people is. “There is currently no script available.” Ok, I’m listening.” “Standby, waiting for your response to the material. Please use the attached pages to register for the role of Young Cop.” Thank you. They actually sent it to me. WME [the William Morris Endeavor entertainment agency] sent it to me, let’s be clear. They didn’t OFFER me Young Cop. They’re giving me a chance to jump into the fray. And yes, I signed up, and, no, I don’t get it, but… Let’s stop focusing on failure, okay? Enough with the failures. Tonight there are only winners."
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